That is about the hardest thing that anybody ever asked me to do. Okay, it’s easy when my children let me down. They’re just kids. And they’re mine.
But when somebody I have to respect or depend on shows me their duplicity or lack of judgment or lets me down, it really gets under my skin. There is an assumption that when your superior asks you to perform a task that there is a purpose for it, and that it has been tried and tested beforehand. I really, really hate being somebody’s test dummy. Especially when I’m working as fast as I can and I can’t keep up. I try to do everything I can with excellence and I try to make my coworkers’ lives easier whenever I can (we teach middle school– it’s by definition a difficult job) but how can I love somebody who makes me miserable and is proud of it? Or seems proud of it and just has no common sense.
How can I love my husband when his idea of “love, honor and cherish” is light years away from mine? I understand that people cannot be perfect. I really am good at giving grace–the first time. Maybe even the second.
But how can I pray for those who spitefully use me? I was raised with three brothers. I come out swinging. Lord, you’re just going to have to teach me how to do this one. It is not in me to say a prayer for those who make my life miserable. Except that psalm that says, “Let his days be few, and let another take his office.” I can pray that one. Teach me to love, Lord. Give me such a gift for loving the unlovable that those around me HAVE to notice.